Do you ever walk into the gym and feel intimidated by large muscles, foam rollers and fitness buffs? That was me when I first started going to the gym. I was worried about people judging my smaller weights or my ever-improving form. I was too scared to go into the weights area to just experiment with some free weights so I spent my time on the machines, not seeing much progress.

I struggled to stay motivated and I was stuck without 'gains.' I never really wanted to be really muscly but just wanted to lose weight and get stronger. Fortunately for me, I have always been very talented at falsifying confidence so I was able to step into a gym without a problem - it was just the free weight area. 

As we have now officially entered 2018, the phrase 'New Year, New Me' comes out. Rarely do we ever hear 'New Year, New Leg' but the reality is that statistics show that approximately 185,000 people (in the US) have a lower limb amputation each year (1). 

Although many of those individuals may not be able to use a prosthetic leg, there are thousands of prosthetic legs being manufactured, customised and fitted in 2018. With that in mind, with the help of an amputee forum, I will try and explain how it feels to walk on a prosthetic leg. 

We've all seen that one question in the diversity section of a standard questionnaire - "Do you consider yourself to have a disability?" Do I consider myself to have a disability?.........What a strange question to ask an individual. Consider myself.....does that mean that it's my choice to identify as disabled or perhaps are they asking whether you would be labelled as disabled by society?

Perhaps being disabled is a state of mind whereas what how does that change when/if you become more/less disabled? How does that change your identity? What does it mean to be disabled? Does it really have a definition? So many questions are raised and the bridge between the labelling and self-identity of disability is something that I have been recently struggling with and I would love to share my thoughts with you.  

People often ask me - 'Why do Judo when you're the only amputee?' or 'Surely it's really unfair that you fight against two-legged people......why do you even bother?'

My quick and easy response to them is 'why not?' Why should I deny myself a sport I love simply because I only have one leg? The truth is that we live in an able-bodied society and a world that is not fully adapted to those with physical differences so why should sport be any different? I'm used to adapting to everyday situations so for me, Judo is just another string to the bow that is life. 

On the 27th of November and 4th of December, series two of "Employable Me" will be airing on BBC Two. Until now, I have not been able to say anything but keep your eyes peeled as I am a member of the series!

In January 2017, I responded to an ad looking for participants for the second series of Employable Me, which was aired in 2016. The series explored the difficulties faced by those with disabilities while looking for work and it followed a number of individuals, mostly with neuro-diversity. 

Now back for a second series, they wanted to explore a more diverse group of individuals with a range of disabilities. After some initial filming, they decided that I would be a valid member of the series and invited me to go to some employment workshops with experts, to learn vital job-seeking skills. I was introduced to a lovely and talented lady, Nancy Doyle, a neurodiversity and employment specialist. 

We all like to be motivated, inspired and encouraged yet when is this taken too far?

How many times a day do you have to be told 'you're an inspiration' before you find it frustrating and feel that people are being patronising?

One of my main goals is to inspire as many people as possible through my achievements and attitude towards life. Having said that, my friends will often ask me whether I find the comments of others encouraging or patronising - I suppose for me, it really does depend on how I feel on the day and the tone in which the comments are said. 

I am often asked two questions: What happened to your leg? Or Army/Motorbike?

Generally these questions are asked at a moment when I have a brief interaction with someone, such as at a checkout or while waiting in a queue. It often makes me feel very awkward since the story of my amputation is not just as simple as shark bite or some type of other gory story that would actually be interesting to the person asking. Very occasionally, when in a new area, I do tell people this just for a bit of variety!

On Monday, I had stage one of my stump revision surgery and I thought I would give you an explanation as to why I needed surgery, given that I have been able to do multiple Tough Mudder events. 

When I initially had my amputation, my calf muscle was pulled round the end of my stump to protect the bone against impact when walking/running. Unfortunately, due to the poor management of my post-operative care while at Roehampton Hospital, I contracted a large infection. This infection, as well as a large 5cm hole in the side of my stump meant that fitting a prosthetic was very difficult at first. For months after my amputation, the calf muscle continued to fall off the end of my bone and was extremely uncomfortable. 

Another great weekend has passed, packed full of adventure and travels as well as new achievements. This weekend I completed my first 10km Wolf Run in Coventry and I also attended the Parallel running event at the Olympic Park in Stratford, London. 

The Wolf Run is an obstacle course that is in Coventry/Leamington Spa area that has a large following on their social media accounts and I believe about 8,000 people pass through the course over a weekend. 

For the first time in months, I was home and enjoying the company of my cats on a Friday evening while I prepared for the British Special Needs Judo Championships. As my first special needs competition, I was unsure what to expect but I knew that I would be the only amputee competing and was very excited at the prospect of meeting other adaptive athletes. I am not allowed to wear a prosthetic to compete so it's always interesting to see me hop around the mat trying to throw people. 

A few days before the event, I was weighing in at about 75kg and was conscious that I needed to drop my weight to <73kg to ensure that I competed against lower-weighted individuals. This is generally quite easy to do within a few days as you simply cut down on your food and drink intake. By dehydrating yourself, you drop your 'water weight' and are able to compete in a lower weight class - I was still very nervous to see if I was going to get to the right weight in time. 

I returned from Morocco on the 11th and got straight back into my crazy schedule. The plane landed at about 2:30pm and I then dropped my dad off before popping home to collect my dryrobe (essentials for a muddy weekend). I unpacked my Morocco suitcase and packed my weekend bag in about 10 minutes and drove straight up to Coventry to then prepare for Mudnificent 7 the following day. 

Mudnificent 7 is an Obstacle Course Race (OCR) and Expo that has 7 different race organisations (and one secret organisation) that contribute towards one event. They were split into different zones and the expo had a range of different organisations offering a range of products that are essential to an OCR lifestyle. 

As I sit here, while taking some time off in Morocco, I can't help but reflect on how incredible July was and how exciting August and September look! 

I started July very apprehensively as I knew that I had booked in many, many events and had given myself minimal personal and recovery time. Nevertheless, I threw myself in at the deep end and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it. My first weekend was with the Army Cadet Force, where I met some fantastic individuals and started my journey towards helping more young people achieve their dreams.

As I begin writing this blog post, it's almost like I have no idea where to start. This month has been incredible and I have made friends that I believe will last forever. On Thursday, I received a running blade from Blatchford in Basingstoke and was able to run without pain for the first time in 14 years. Being able to run, and having feeling that ultimate freedom is something that no other experience can replicate. Earlier in this month, I travelled to Ireland and Germany as well as volunteering with vulnerable young people in Wales and as many of you may know, this weekend I completed my 11th and 12th Tough Mudder in Yorkshire.

As I have now completed quite a few muddy runs, I really wanted to give somebody an opportunity to experience Tough Mudder and complete the course, regardless of their disability. I placed an advert on social media and I had quite a few responses. I sought to find somebody that would not be able to complete the course without the help of others and suddenly, a young man called Jeshu appeared. As I still had my all-terrain wheelchair from my adventure in Spain, I knew that we could use that around the course and my previous experience of completing two tough Mudders in a wheelchair meant I knew it was possible. 

This weekend, I will be travelling straight from work to Yorkshire's Tough Mudder. As I've now finished 10 Tough Mudders, I have decided that I would like to make things a bit more challenging and give others the opportunity to finish the course with my help. 

A few weeks ago, I put out an advertisement on Facebook, looking for a wheelchair user that would like to complete the course. I had a number of responses however decided to assist a young man called Jeshu. He has a less-severe version of the same condition that I had prior to my amputation but he has it in both feet. I approached him and asked whether he would like to use my special all-terrain wheelchair to complete the course and he was very excited to accept. 

I have the very exciting news to tell you about my new sponsor dryrobe. They produce the world's most versatile changing robes. This means that after Tough Mudder, I will be able to just wash all of the mud off and get into my dryrobe so that I can stay dry and warm. 

I had such an amazing weekend in Ireland completing both my 8th and 9th Tough Mudder. I only anticipated completing one this weekend however, as I used my prosthetic leg, I was able to run on the Sunday too! 

I finished work at 4pm on the Friday and went straight to the station to then travel to Southampton airport. After checking in, I waited for my flight which was unfortunately delayed for about 1.5 hours. As I was on the flight, I noticed that the sleeve for my leg (the section that holds my leg on) had a HUGE rip and I knew that I would have to sort it before the event. Eventually arriving at Dublin airport, I was then kindly picked up by some awesome other mudders and we headed towards our shared air bnb house. Once we arrived at the house, along with the help of my friend, we patched up my sleeve and got into bed for about 1am. 

On Saturday morning, I was ready to go for 7am and we headed out to the venue. Going through vast fields, I was getting excited for my first international Tough Mudder but also very nervous as to whether my prosthetic would be sufficient. I have only had a few weeks to familiarise myself with my prosthetic and my stump is not used to the pressure of continuous use so I bought my crutches to the event. As another measure, I also bought my Iwalk to be placed into the First Aid tent for emergency use. 

I thought I would just share with you what I have been up to for the past week as I've reached some great milestones with my prosthetic leg that I purchased from the Blatchford clinic in Basingstoke. 

I purchased a new socket from Blatchford just before my trip to Spain. As I am still waiting for revision surgery, the NHS decided that they would not supply me with another leg until I was fully recovered. Adamant that I wanted to be up and running ASAP I approached the Blatchford clinic and within a few weeks, I had been fitted with a leg that was at least 10 x better than I had previously been fitted with. 

As some of you may know, I started a full-time position in May as a Credit Analyst. This has meant that my life is suddenly extremely busy but it also means that my life has a lot more structure. I've now planned all of my weekends for July and I'm really excited! 

On the 7th of July, I am off to Ireland to complete my 8th Tough Mudder. I will be leaving straight from work (4pm) and heading to the airport to fly into Dublin. I will then be running on the Saturday and volunteering on the Sunday to return home in the evening. I will then be up and ready for an 8am start at work on Monday.